This post contains an affiliate link.
When I started thinking about divorce, I was extremely scared and really had no idea what to expect. I didn’t even know if it was something I wanted at the time. I did, however, want to explore the process, hear from experts about what it is like, how it works and the effect that it has on families.
I started searching Amazon for a decent book to start with, and The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Divorce: A Therapist and a Lawyer Guide You Through Your Divorce Journey stood out to me, largely because it presents the reader with wisdom from both a therapist and a lawyer. I had so many questions that needed answering — an odd smattering of both legal and relational/emotional questions.
It turned out that this book was an excellent place for me to start my journey. It was down-to-earth in its tone and packed full of information about all of the nitty-gritty details of divorce.
The book had a very nonjudgmental tone, which was very helpful for me. It wasn’t telling me whether or not divorce was right for me, but encouraged me to look at my situation with open eyes and assess my options. I was encouraged to think about the consequences of the choice and given very real expectations about what is involved in the process, going forward.
I can’t tell you how many times I read a sentence or paragraph, and it touched my heart right where I needed it most. It helped me to see that I’m not alone in my thoughts, feelings and experiences; that there is hope and a future; that I’m not evil for wanting a divorce; and that the way I choose to go through the process is extremely important to the emotional well-being of myself, my spouse and our children.
I highly recommend this book as a great resource for anyone who is considering divorce, but not sure if it’s the right path for them. You will be encouraged to think very seriously about your situation before making a decision, and many of your pressing questions will be answered.
One of my favorite quotes from the book (pg. 75):
Both you and your children deserve to be who you are and to feel accepted and loved. If you don’t know who you are besides being a wife, mother, coworker, sister, daughter, friend, then you have the opportunity — no, the obligation — to find out who YOU are. This may be with your husband or without him, ultimately, but nevertheless, no one must live the rest of your life with you except you. Children move on to have their own lives, your marriage may or may not last the rest of your life, parents pass away, siblings have their own families, and friends move away or develop other friendships. You always have you. When you realize that you only need your own acceptance and that the nasty things your husband says about you are incorrect, then you will come closer to deciding what to do about your marriage.